


That's How It Starts

by Drippin_w_alchemy



Series: Either/Or [8]
Category: Love Simon (2018), Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda - Becky Albertalli, The Upside of Unrequited - Becky Albertalli
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, College, F/M, Fluff, Gay, Gay Male Character, High School, LCD Soundsystem, M/M, Pining, going away to college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-23
Updated: 2018-04-23
Packaged: 2019-04-26 17:58:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,153
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14407455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drippin_w_alchemy/pseuds/Drippin_w_alchemy
Summary: Bram and Simon head over to Abby's to help her pack before she leaves for college. Simon gets caught up in his impending goodbyes to Bram.LCD Soundsystem - All My Friends:YouTube





	That's How It Starts

**Author's Note:**

> Nearing the end of summer and this series for Simon and the gang! Thanks so much to all for the encouraging feedback! Special thanks to my beta AMH for always helping me make the best of these.

It’s not like Nick leaving early for college was a surprise or anything, I guess I just wasn’t expecting the social media blow up that’s followed.

I’m sitting in Bram’s car as he drives us over to Abby’s for the night. I’ve been buried in my phone, scrolling through my feed for the better part of the last two days, I can feel the spot in my neck where my head is about to snap off the rest of my body. Nick Eisner is tagged in three new photos with a bunch of hipster looking kids in cardigans holding what I assume are mandolins but could just as easily be some novelty instrument they carved out of birchwood themselves. Taylor Metternich is attending the new students org fair of Juilliard. Molly Peskin-Suso is tagged in a new photo with like twelve other freshman and looks genuinely excited.  

I finally look up and feel all the blood behind my eyes drain out of my brain. “Everyone’s been in college for less than a week and they’re already making friends and moving on! How are we supposed to do that? It took me years to talk to anyone that wasn’t Nick, and I’m gonna show up to college and be expected to have like twenty besties before my dorm is unpacked?”

Bram looks over at me as he takes a turn onto Abby’s street. “They’re just photos Si, you know how it is. Don’t let the fear of missing out get the better of you before you’ve even gotten your class schedule.”

“I guess I’m just surprised how quickly everyone’s clamoring to move on from Shady Creek.”

“Simon you know that’s not fair, Nick had to go to his music bootcamp before orientation and different schools start at different times. No one is vying to be the fastest out of here so don’t make it a race, you know you’re not much of a sprinter.”

Once Bram made me run drills with him and I had to sleep on the couch that night because it hurt too much to climb the stairs to my bedroom.

“You take those drills to your grave, Greenfeld.”

I know Bram’s right, Nick probably doesn’t know the name of half those kids in that photo, let alone what the heck that guitar thing is. (A sitar? That’s stringed right?) But my data plan can’t handle all the excitement in these updates, everyone looking at the camera and seeing the unfolding of the rest of their lives. Is it just me looking back on what’s ending? Is Bram?

We pull up to Abby’s and head inside. I stuff my phone in my pocket, I should be present for Abby’s last night here. Plus it’s probably better for my neck anyways.

Leah’s sitting on Abby’s bed surrounded by a mound of clothes and sheets and towels and target bags.

“I made a fortress out of the last minute packing Abby remembered today.” Leah quips. “Join me I have Taquis.”

Abby runs in from upstairs and drops an armful of jackets at the foot of her bed. “Do you know how cold it gets at night in Virginia?!” She exclaims and runs back upstairs.

“You of all people should know! You grew up like an hour away from Charlottesville!” I call but she’s gone, no doubt buried in a closet somewhere dredging up more winter gear she’s shelved since moving to Georgia.

Bram steps onto Abby’s bed and plops down next to Leah in the bunker of clothes amassed on Abby’s bed. “I love Taquis.” He says helping himself.

“Simon did you see that picture of Nick and all his Lute friends?” Leah ask between Taqui hand fulls.

“Oh my God, THAT’S what it is!”

“I’ll take that as a yes.” Leah says turning to Bram.

“Simon’s worried everyone’s getting a head start on college while he’s stuck here packing with us.” Bram says between bites.

“Don’t worry Spier I’m sure you’ll still be in Nick and Abby’s wedding even if lute guy is the new best man.” Leah says as Abby walks back in.

“Nick says that guy can’t even play the lute he just carries it around for the optics.” Abby says dropping a bag of just sandals on the floor. It’s like she’s only packing clothes for extreme weather conditions but her quip makes me feel a little better so I leave her to her process.

It’s not like Nick is replacing me with a bunch of bards or anything, and I know none of these posts are personally out to get me. I just feel like every update screams how much fun college is and if you’re not head over heels less than forty eight hours in, you’re probably doing it wrong. Whatever force I had pushing me through my life up until now somewhere along the way became a pull, and I keep digging my heels in. Going online is like being on a highway and all these pictures and check ins and Instagram stories are billboards going by faster and faster, starting to blur into one another. I can’t go online without seeing how quickly everything out my window is speeding up, and there doesn’t seem to be a brake anywhere within reach.

I silence my phone, I don’t need anymore updates on how the world outside our clothing nest is speeding towards forever.

Abby’s back in her room with a giant trash bag full of bedding and towels. “OK I think this is everything.” She says surveying the chaos that is her bedroom. “Do you think I’m missing anything?”

“Seeing as how there’s an entire Forever 21 in here, I think you are likely prepared for anything.” Leah says, starting to fold things now that the Taquis have been crushed.

“Abby has Molly said anything about your dorm? Are you going to be top or bottom bunk?” Bram says wrapping himself in a Lion King fitted sheet.

“Well you know how Nick feels about the top bunk.” Abby says surveying everything she owns. “Maybe I’ll only bring four pairs of sandals for fall.”

“So prudent.” Leah says trying to smooth out a difficult sequin shirt.

“Molly said the dorm is pretty cool, she’s even started trying to figure out what house she’s going to dub it. Right now she says it’s leaning pretty Hufflepuff but I could tip it towards Gryffindor.”

“Oh my God she would.” I let out. This is good, looking at dorms as Harry Potter houses is quintessentially us, things are slowing down, at least a little.

“I can’t believe you two are already going to be out of here.” Bram says. “It’s kind of weird we’re here already right?”

Of course it’s weird Bram, how can it be anything but? I used to think weird was just a word we threw around when we couldn’t nail down what was in the air, like somehow calcifying the feeling in the room would take us out of the moment. Nothing was ever “bittersweet” or “surreal” but rather “weird”, a catch all for whatever we needed to say, without actually saying it.

“Yeah it is kind of.” Abby says. “I’m excited though, I think it helps having Nick go up there first.”

“It’s always good to send a scout ahead, figure out the path of least resistance for us MVPs.” Leah smirks.

“You guys will come visit me right?” Abby looks up from folding clothes into her suitcase.

“Obviously.” I say, trying to pair up her mountain of sandals. “I foresee us making a few trips up and down the eastern corridor the next few years.”

“More than just a few Si.” Bram says looking over at me and my stomach rises in a way I haven’t felt in a while, a good way.

We work through the fortress surrounding Bram and Leah and manage to pair everything down into its respective suitcase and boxes. Abby’s life for the time fits neatly into the back of her mom’s minivan. It’s late and the drive to Virginia is the better part of a day, we know it’s probably time to head out.

“You guys have to come and see us before Thanksgiving, I don’t want to wait that long to see you all.” Abby says looking at the stuffed car.

“We’ll get our schedules and find the time.” Bram says. “Leah and Simon will detour to get me and we’ll all come up and see you both.”

“Thank God Nick bought that futon.” Leah says.

“He found that on the side of the road on his drive up there.” I say, looking down at my feet.

I don’t want to make eye contact with anyone, I can’t handle what their expressions are going to pull out of me right now. I hate dancing around goodbyes.

“Jesus Eisner, Abby tell Molly I’m bunking with you two, I’m not about to make myself the freshman with bed bugs.”

That gets Bram and Abby laughing and I look up and I guess I’m laughing a little too. It’s nice to rip on Nick a little even with him not being here, even his absence doesn’t blunt our dynamic, my head feels slightly lighter, like the kink in my neck finally let up. I look up and lock eyes with Abby.

“We’re gonna miss you, I’m gonna miss you.” I say, my voice feels froggy but I’m shockingly holding it together.

Abby’s eyes are squints, like she’s staring straight into the wind. Maybe she’s on the highway speeding up right now too. She has to be, cause her cheeks start to stream.

“I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for what’s coming up next, but I know you guys are gonna be there for whatever’s coming.” She says hushed, keeping her voice low because anything more audible is sure to bring out a sob.

Bram wraps her up in an embrace. “Hey we’re all taking steps forward, not away from each other.” He says. Bram’s voice is as steadfast as the hug he’s got Abby in, I should know. “Go get Virginia ready for us, we’ll be there before you know it.”

Leah comes up behind Abby and adds herself to all the hugging and holding. She doesn’t say anything but she doesn’t need to, her clasp on Bram and Abby is strong and still, she’s not going anywhere either. I lean in to huddle, Bram pulling me next to him.

Here in August, in the muggy Georgia air we stand and listen to grasshoppers clicking in Abby’s driveway, holding one another. Letting the stillness precipitate all our emotions into tokens we can take with us into our own respective futures. For a moment we find the brake and the blurs outside my window solidify alongside me. Bram, Abby, Nick and Leah, not flying ahead nor falling behind, but racing ahead all together.

Abby’s the first to move, letting out a sniff and wiping her eyes on Bram’s sleeve.

“I love you guys, thanks for helping me pack.” She says, pulling out of our hug with a sigh. “I’ll call you once I’m there and settled I promise.”

We each leave her with an individual hug and walk off together. Climbing into Bram’s car, I wave to Abby from the passenger window as we pull away. She slowly drops into the rearview mirror and then we turn the corner and she’s out of my eyeline.

We roll around the slightly rounded corners in Abby’s neighborhood as the streets countdown to my turn off. The street lamps light up Bram’s face every few houses, his speed not wavering at all I can almost count the seconds between each flash of his eyes.

“Simon you’re staring at me.” Bram says. In the dark I feel a look out of the corner of his eye.

“Is our goodbye going to be as graceful?” I ask. I can’t believe I can even bring this up with him but I’m going to ride this wave of hopefulness and put the tough questions out there.

A trill is growing inside me, like my heart and my stomach and my lungs are all of a sudden flicking on after having been unplugged for most of the summer. LCD soundsystem comes on shuffle on Bram’s iPod and I find myself lining up with the piano. Waiting for a drop, waiting for a release from this stillness, no longer pushing or pulling but an equilibrium for two forces I’ve somehow found myself the focus of.

“Honestly I am still having trouble bringing myself to that point.” Bram says. “I guess we’ll find out one way or another next week, huh?”

So here’s Bram, by my side waiting for the same shift in whatever direction we’re heading. I grab his hand as we turn another corner, both of us hanging on what’s coming next.

I guess we will Bram.

 


End file.
